Feeding Hope
by Trivher
Summary: I decided I don't like summarys. Because really what should you say? You either say too much or not enough. So I'm saying nothing.


Yes I own the right of all characters and the show

Yes I own the right of all characters and the show.You didn't know?Oh yes.And also the rights to Nike shoes, Hershey's candy, and Kodak Film.Don't believe me?Well that's not my fault.:-DThe song is "You're The One." By Julian Lennon now I could never own great as that now could I?Nope.Please do enjoy the show!

  
_There's been times when I'm shaken  
Now I'm stronger I can't fall  
Don't you know you were my haven  
Through life's mess I had to crawl  
Watching you watching me now  
You're the one that's made me true  
And if you hadn't been my backbone  
I would have died in front of you   
Hold on to me  
Hold on to me_

How could he not know what he did to me?Didn't he feel the love in my look?Or the tenderness in my touch?I suppose I was the fool.Because why would he ever care about me?Friends that's all it ever can be.Sadly nothing ever more and hopefully nothing ever less.But I want and need more just foolish ideas and self-crushing fantasies.My life had been placed into his hands, he didn't have a clue.  
  
_You're the one who pulled me back again  
Showed your love and your strength as a friend  
You're the one who pulled me back again  
Showed your love and your strength as a friend_

Sitting next to him, close as humanly possible without climbing on his lap just enjoying being near him.Sometimes we talked of music, books or the latest current events.He's a lot smarter then people give him credit for just keeps it quiet.Other times well confess the troublesome thoughts in our minds just needing to let them out.Stuff we'll never tell anybody else.So many times I could have told him the secret just couldn't form the right words.The opportunity would slip away not knowing if another would replace it.  
  
_Everybody come back from the edge  
Everybody's lesson shouldn't hurt so bad  
Everybody listen what's been said  
If you never learn you're gonna be misled_

Fear can over take a persons emotions.Until you can't seem to breathe right or form a reasonable thought.My fear was and always had been; what if he doesn't care?It was a possibility; I could be seeing signs just in my head.To save myself from having my heart destroyed I tried to forget it all.Stupid thinking because it certainly didn't work.The more I tried to ignore it the more intense the feelings became.I felt like a brainless teenybopper again signing into the image of a boy in a magazine that I could never really hold.  
  
_Thank you love for your wisdom  
Thank you love for your time  
Just between us you're my answer  
You're the lifeline of my mind_

It was his smile, his laugh, his everything.When girls came up to talk to him I was so upset.Wanting to push them out of the way screaming keep your hands off of him he's mine!But I couldn't because he wasn't mine.He belonged to know one just enjoying the free life for a bit.He soon became my music partner; I must admit I was quite surprised of his knowledge.I knew he understood music and what makes it work in certain situations, just his level of that knowledge surprised me.Just another example of how perfect he was.  
  
_Hold on to me  
Hold on to me  
Hold on to me  
Hold on to me_

Nothing in this world is worse then watching the one you love in secret.A school girls crush too afraid to push him into the mud to show affection.On that stage staring at him when the opportunity presents itself how could he not know!?Sometimes I do think having him hired had been a mistake because of the feelings.Of course I figured they would disappear I would simply let it go.I soon discovered that wasn't true. Maybe this could be ok.Oh who was I kidding!?  
  
_You're the one who pulled me back again  
Showed your love and your strength as a friend  
You're the one who pulled me back again  
Showed your love and your strength as a friend_

I wrote songs, deep and personal.That was the way I was able to let it be known.Did he realize the him or the love was him?I treasured our times alone together in private.The others just behind a door or two to me they were hundreds of miles.Before he had stepped onto the bus to stay, before he became a mark on my heart, I was drowning.Just the water was missing.Loneliness, hatred about things that I'm not sure what exactly, life hadn't been exactly pleasant to me.And I had been pretending it was.Carey changed that and the light of hope was able to peek through.  
  
_Everybody come back from the edge  
Everybody's lesson shouldn't hurt so bad  
Everybody listen what's been said  
If you never learn you're gonna be misled_

Only if he knew of the power he held.Only if I could just say it!I was really starting to fell like an idiot.But I like hope and goodness.If that window shade is drawn down again I will die.Watching him smile, pretending it's just for me will have to work.Even though it hurt so much I can barely stand it.The pain of the word no will be too much to bear.One day, one day he will know.And I'll tell him thank you for feeding me hope.


End file.
